In working with an unmotivated gambler it is important to have a clear goal in mind.
One goal might be to increase the gambler's awareness of the problem and its impact on your life.
Another goal might be to facilitate the person's entry into a treatment program.
When approaching a gambler here are some helpful guidelines:
1. Start by discussing some positive things about the gambler and your relationship.
2. Use 'I' statements that are clear and not harsh: "I am really concerned about how things are going with us, there are some things that I need to have change in our life."
3. Stick to specific issues: "I feel lousy when you do not come home in a predictable manner." "I am constantly fearful and anxious due to the financial problems in our family, I do not feel any security."
4. Focus on solutions, provide exact information about what needs to change. Have information about GA meetings ready, have information about therapists that you have already spoken with.
5. Be prepared for denial or hostility. Do not do anything to play into manipulative dodges. Many gamblers will blame their spouse for the problem. Stick to your point and what you need to have happen.
6. Tie your ideas into the mindset of the gambler, if he or she complains of excessive stress or being tired use these words to connect the problem.
7. Seek help by attending free Gam-anon or Al-anon meetings in your area before acting.
Interventions can be arranged to help bring a gambler into treatment. These are sometimes effective and sometimes ineffective. In order to maximize the potential of an intervention it requires rehearsal and practice with someone who is trained in conducting interventions. Most interventions need a lot of preparation. It is important to have people there that are directly involved, such as grown children, parents, close friends who are aware of the problem. The intervention is always done in a supportive manner where the gambler feels cared for and about rather than punished and shamed. The content of the intervention and goal clarification must be done in advance and rehearsed. Professional interventionists are available throughout the country.
